This really sums up the emotion behind why I want to parent, and why I don't mind parenting an at-risk child. Enjoy.
http://jenniferlawler.com/wordpress/?p=747
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
We Are in the Running!
Great News: The meeting with the social worker went really, really well!
Mediocre News: There is another step! The county case worker will receive a few home studies and decide which of those he/she wants to interview. The final family is selected by the case worker.
Good News: We made it to the next step!
Back-Up Plan News: If we don't move onto the final rounds, our social worker is looking at another potential match for us--a boy.
Here's the story:
Since things went well, I will start to provide bits of information about PD, like first, her name is Rosie, and she is 9-years-old.
We sat down with Rosie's social worker and our social worker. We got to ask questions, and so did Rosie's social worker. As we left and sifted through our thoughts and feelings, we both agreed the meeting was "promising" - Mike's word, which sums it up perfectly. Neither of us felt scared by what we learned, and the social workers liked us!
Things we liked:
We learned that Rosie is very intelligent and curious. She likes to ask a lot of questions--which can seem annoying to some people, but really, she's just trying to figure things out much like a younger child. She'll be going into 4th grade and is reading at an 8th grade reading level. We chuckled at the idea of Mike the Scientist and Rosie the Inquisitive asking eachother never ending series of questions.
Rosie needs a strong mom or female role model. I told the social worker, both families are filled with them! Plus, I am a St. Kate's graduate so all my friends are pretty much the strongest women I know.
Things we found sad but feel we can change:
While Rosie is very independent for a 9 year old, she also needs lots of nurturing. She didn't get to play much (or at all) as a child so she'll love going on bike rides, playing catch, playing board games, painting, flying kites--all the things we took for granted as children.
Rosie has very curly hair that her current foster family doesn't try to take care of. This presents a nice bonding opportunity for Rosie and me because I have curly hair--not as curly as hers--but I understand the importance of taking special care of curly hair. I got a little giddy thinking of a special spa day for her.
Things that need to be explored:
How Rosie will deal with living in the inner city since she's been in the country almost all of her life.
Rosy Picture?
Yep, I'm painting a slightly rose-colored picture. There will most definately be challenges, but none of them seem like something Mike or I can't handle. Plus, we have several more opportunities to make sure that is the case and this is the right child for us.
Next Steps
Hopefully the county case worker will choose to interview with us. If they like us, then we become the only ones. Then it's really more us deciding if Rosie is meant to be with us. The interview, if we get one should be in the next 2 weeks. Which sounds long, but really, it's not considering how long we've been in the process and how quickly life can change after those two weeks!
Mediocre News: There is another step! The county case worker will receive a few home studies and decide which of those he/she wants to interview. The final family is selected by the case worker.
Good News: We made it to the next step!
Back-Up Plan News: If we don't move onto the final rounds, our social worker is looking at another potential match for us--a boy.
Here's the story:
Since things went well, I will start to provide bits of information about PD, like first, her name is Rosie, and she is 9-years-old.
We sat down with Rosie's social worker and our social worker. We got to ask questions, and so did Rosie's social worker. As we left and sifted through our thoughts and feelings, we both agreed the meeting was "promising" - Mike's word, which sums it up perfectly. Neither of us felt scared by what we learned, and the social workers liked us!
Things we liked:
We learned that Rosie is very intelligent and curious. She likes to ask a lot of questions--which can seem annoying to some people, but really, she's just trying to figure things out much like a younger child. She'll be going into 4th grade and is reading at an 8th grade reading level. We chuckled at the idea of Mike the Scientist and Rosie the Inquisitive asking eachother never ending series of questions.
Rosie needs a strong mom or female role model. I told the social worker, both families are filled with them! Plus, I am a St. Kate's graduate so all my friends are pretty much the strongest women I know.
Things we found sad but feel we can change:
While Rosie is very independent for a 9 year old, she also needs lots of nurturing. She didn't get to play much (or at all) as a child so she'll love going on bike rides, playing catch, playing board games, painting, flying kites--all the things we took for granted as children.
Rosie has very curly hair that her current foster family doesn't try to take care of. This presents a nice bonding opportunity for Rosie and me because I have curly hair--not as curly as hers--but I understand the importance of taking special care of curly hair. I got a little giddy thinking of a special spa day for her.
Things that need to be explored:
How Rosie will deal with living in the inner city since she's been in the country almost all of her life.
Rosy Picture?
Yep, I'm painting a slightly rose-colored picture. There will most definately be challenges, but none of them seem like something Mike or I can't handle. Plus, we have several more opportunities to make sure that is the case and this is the right child for us.
Next Steps
Hopefully the county case worker will choose to interview with us. If they like us, then we become the only ones. Then it's really more us deciding if Rosie is meant to be with us. The interview, if we get one should be in the next 2 weeks. Which sounds long, but really, it's not considering how long we've been in the process and how quickly life can change after those two weeks!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Seven years of good health and wham-o the bad health jackpot
Being a complete believer in Karma, I blame my past five day's poor health on this statement: "I want to use as few vacation days as possible to save them up for the adoption."
Since uttering those words, I have had bronchitis, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. I am suffering from the latter two as I type. Suffering might be a strong word. Anyway, I am on my third day off of work. Tomorrow I will return no matter how cloudy, sleepy, or sick to my stomach I feel. I've never had a sinus infection before. It's a curious thing. I won't go on about it to avoid sounding like an 90-year-old with nothing else to talk about.
Plus, I do have something else to talk and think about. Tomorrow is the big interview about PD. We can't wait.
Since uttering those words, I have had bronchitis, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. I am suffering from the latter two as I type. Suffering might be a strong word. Anyway, I am on my third day off of work. Tomorrow I will return no matter how cloudy, sleepy, or sick to my stomach I feel. I've never had a sinus infection before. It's a curious thing. I won't go on about it to avoid sounding like an 90-year-old with nothing else to talk about.
Plus, I do have something else to talk and think about. Tomorrow is the big interview about PD. We can't wait.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The time to hesitate is through. No time to wallow in the mire.
Short but hopeful post.
Our social worker wasn't laid off. So I decided to pull myself out of my terrible attitude and ask her about a few more kids on the waiting list.
Yesterday she emailed me and said one of the little girl's social workers liked our home study and wants to meet with us. THIS IS HUGE!!!!!
Mike's trying to not get too excited b/c at this stage there is still no promise or guarantee. Yet I can't help but feel like finally something is happening.
Since Mike is right, since this interview is no indication of actually adopting this girl, I am going to wait to post details about her just yet.
Here's the order of operations:
7/21 - Meet with potential daughter's (PD) social worker, if we pass that interview and also like what we've learned about PD we move onto step 2
Step 2 - Big hurdle crossed b/c no other families are in the running now. We conduct collateral interviews with all the adults who are influential in PD's life, her foster family, teachers, mentors, etc. If we pass those, and we like what we've learned about PD, we move onto step 3
Step 3 - Review PD's complete case file (which we've seen some of already). We will decide if based on the expanded information we still want to be considered as her parents and wait for PD's social worker to decide if we'd be ideal parents for her.
Step 4 - Create a picture book of us, our home, or pets, and immediate family for PD--because of course PD's social worker will love us. At this point I'll provide more more information about PD here and in person to our friends and family.
Step 5 - Be asked by PD's social worker to be PD's permanent parents, and we say yes. This is the last chance we really have to say no. If we say no, we go back to pre stage 1--me emailing our social worker with inquiries.
Step 6 - PD's social worker brings our book to her and lets her know we're her parents. This is the first time PD will even be aware that we were inquiring about her.
Step 7 - Within 24 hours of Step 6, we meet PD -- oh how nervous we'll be!!!
Step 8 - With PD and social workers, determine the transition plan. Some children will move in the same day you meet them. Some kids need more time.
That's the potential road. After each stage, I'll update the blog.
Our social worker wasn't laid off. So I decided to pull myself out of my terrible attitude and ask her about a few more kids on the waiting list.
Yesterday she emailed me and said one of the little girl's social workers liked our home study and wants to meet with us. THIS IS HUGE!!!!!
Mike's trying to not get too excited b/c at this stage there is still no promise or guarantee. Yet I can't help but feel like finally something is happening.
Since Mike is right, since this interview is no indication of actually adopting this girl, I am going to wait to post details about her just yet.
Here's the order of operations:
7/21 - Meet with potential daughter's (PD) social worker, if we pass that interview and also like what we've learned about PD we move onto step 2
Step 2 - Big hurdle crossed b/c no other families are in the running now. We conduct collateral interviews with all the adults who are influential in PD's life, her foster family, teachers, mentors, etc. If we pass those, and we like what we've learned about PD, we move onto step 3
Step 3 - Review PD's complete case file (which we've seen some of already). We will decide if based on the expanded information we still want to be considered as her parents and wait for PD's social worker to decide if we'd be ideal parents for her.
Step 4 - Create a picture book of us, our home, or pets, and immediate family for PD--because of course PD's social worker will love us. At this point I'll provide more more information about PD here and in person to our friends and family.
Step 5 - Be asked by PD's social worker to be PD's permanent parents, and we say yes. This is the last chance we really have to say no. If we say no, we go back to pre stage 1--me emailing our social worker with inquiries.
Step 6 - PD's social worker brings our book to her and lets her know we're her parents. This is the first time PD will even be aware that we were inquiring about her.
Step 7 - Within 24 hours of Step 6, we meet PD -- oh how nervous we'll be!!!
Step 8 - With PD and social workers, determine the transition plan. Some children will move in the same day you meet them. Some kids need more time.
That's the potential road. After each stage, I'll update the blog.
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