Even better than the real thing

The past month has been surreal. Sure, we've had ups and downs. This time, though, none of the downs affected us for more than 24 hrs,

Friday morning, for example, mike had to carry Rose to the car to get to school. We wouldn't let her wear shorts so she refused to cooperate.

(She ended up wearing shorts anyway, which is perhaps a lesson learned for us first time patents. Choose your battles wisely.)

We issued consequences. She came home Friday afternoon happy and determined to please us. She wrote two letters of apology and cleaned her room. The rest of her weekend was spent researching and writing a report on The Civil War.

Sounds lame. Yet tonight, we slurped spaghetti noodles as chocolate chip cookies filled the house with a calming aroma. We watched the newest Muppet movie. I read "The Secret Garden" to Rose until bedtime.

It was everything I dreamed it could be. It wasn't flashy. It just was. And it was wonderful.

April Showers Bring April Birthdays

I was a very caring big sister. When my sister turned one, I decided I would "help" her open her birthday presents...out of my pure care of her well being. She was too little, I remember reasoning. Since I'm four, I'd better show her how it's done. I showed her how to open presents and how to play with her toys for two years before she decided she was ready to be an independent woman who opened her own presents. By then, I was nearly six and agreed.

As you can see, we were both happy with this arrangement.

Of course in hindsight, I'll admit I wasn't altruistic. I was an older sister who was spoiled and wasn't very thrilled that my baby sister had a whole day dedicated to her. Plus, I was convinced she did both the opening and playing WRONG! Better I do it myself.  When I realized she would let me open her presents because she was too little to care, I took advantage. This bossy, I know better, mentality is a family trait I believe I inherited from my Grandma. Yet I digress, wo why this trip down memory lane?

Well, because April is filled with birthdays, namely Mike's and mine. Rose really struggles with these days. She will fall into oddly argumentative behavior that tests my patience as I try to remind her it's DAD's birthday or MY birthday. From what I can tell, she suffers because the days focus on someone else. She is no different from me ages four to six as I came to terms emotionally with losing the only kid position.

Of course, all of this is conjecture because she won't share her thoughts or reason for emotions. Yet yesterday, on my birthday, the evening was filled with silly arguments and her generally becoming so disrespectful she wound up with quiet time in her room. At one point when I told her she needed to have time out, she said, "Mom on your birthday you're supposed to be nice to people." As my lower back continued to spasm I told her on someone's birthday you're supposed to be nice to them.

To top it off, for the last two days I've been bed ridden with a sore lower back. It was literally spasming. I can barely make it up and down stairs, and Mike has been taking care of everything. Rose is early in her attachment, but I believe some of her behaviors yesterday stemmed from her concern about my not being able to take care of her. She's mentioned having nightmares about Mike or I dying. So I tried, and will admit didn't do well keeping my patience while she spent 30 minutes getting to her room.

Sometimes, when we're in funks, alone time is the best thing. That continues to be true of Rose. After a little over an hour in her room, her attitude had turned around. Mike made her dinner, and I offered to read her another chapter from The Secret Garden to show her I am still here for her. The night ended well, relatively speaking. We got another interesting peek into Rose's psyche and I had an pretty fine birthday, all things considered.

Our second Easter awaits

More to follow...