What I don't have time to do

1. Blogging. Turns out blogging while thinking about and planning for adoption is much easier than blogging after Rosie has moved in. By the time Rosie gets to bed at 8 on weeknights or 8:30 on weekends, it's all I can do to keep my eyes pried open to watch a DVRd sitcom.

I should create another blog entitled: words I'm eating. It would include a sentiment about thinking we should see if her bedtimes are too early.

2. Make-up. For those of you who work with me, you might have noticed that my clothing is becoming a little more basic, and my make-up is pretty much never on. After a morning of getting Rosie dressed, fed, hair done, underarm deodorant on and teeth brushed finding any energy for myself feels impossible.

3. Work after hours. I actually have a new-found appreciation for work at work. I know what I'm doing at work. Then when I get home, all certainty has flown out the window. Trying to pick-up work after helping Mike get Rosie's homework done, getting Rosie dinner and showered feels like trying to pick up a boulder.

4. Get in a 5th workout of the week. I get up at 4 a.m. three days per week to sneak in three hours of workouts. I am able to sneak in a 4th workout from time to time, but the 5th workout I loathed in my past life is now something I look back on with a touch of sadness. You always want what you can't have, perhaps?

Yes, life has changed, completely and practically instantly. The new routines are starting to feel more real. Yesterday Rosie walked in the house and said, "This is really starting to feel like my family." I couldn't agree more, and the things I've lost time and energy to do now will come back--I'm sure of it. Yet reassurance from another parent would be appreciated.

Oh how the tables have turned

I thought sitting in a parent/teacher conference as a kid was nerve-wracking. Turns out as a kid, I could control those meetings. As a parent, though, you're not in control at all.

Of course, the conference went really well. Rosie is in a good school with a lot of people who want to support her. When her less attractive behaviors were brought into question I found myself trying to help them understand what Rosie's been through.

As I heard myself and looked at the exhausted expression on Rosie's teacher's face, I realized I had become the parent who makes excuses for their kid. So I quickly stopped and added, "I want Rosie to be held accountable for her actions and have fair consequences. Yet, I also want to make sure she learns from her behaviors."

That seemed to make the teacher happy. I think. Although, I still worry she thinks I'm the mom who thinks my kid can do no wrong, which is ironic because Rosie is constantly worried about what others think. Will worrying ever end?

Rosie's a bit of a rock star

I think one of the most wonderful things Rosie's had in the past two weeks is the constant stream of family and friends lining up to meet her.

Imagine going from living in 11 places in 3 years and feeling like no one would ever want you to suddenly being a little rock star in what must feel like an alternate universe.

That's Rosie, and this week she meet my sister, Autumn, and Colin and Krista, Mike's brother and sister-in-law.

Rosie also got to meet my friend, Heather, but I haven't been forcing Rosie to pose for photos with friends. This is the downside of starting with a 10-year-old. When you have a baby, it is pretty oblivious to the zillions of photos you want to take of its every move. (Well, I assume the infant doesn't care.) A 10-year-old, however, does.

This is the type of photo you get when you force a 10-year-old to pose one too many times.

How's it going?

Many people want to know how things are going. Sometimes when I'm asked, I struggle for a response. Yet, when I emailed one of my friends about it, I think I finally nailed it on the head.

"Things are going well. We've had ups and downs. I've been pushed to the edge of my limits and have felt my heart swell with love and pride--all in the same day. In the first week there were at least two ocassions where I went to bed sick with worry wondering what we'd gotten ourselves into, and if we could get the heck out of it.

But when all is said and done, it's been everything I imagined parenthood would be--good and bad. I think we are finally starting to gel into a routine. Rosie's anxiety levels seems to reducing."
 
To this note I would add, my anxiety levels are also beginning to drop as the new normal sets in.

What's in a name?

This week I got to decorate my cubicle with art made for me by my daughter. It's the big, colorful "a" that actually has my entire name intertwined through it.

Too bad Michael has so many letters or he'd probably have one, too. Rosie, for whatever reason, prefers Michael instead of Mike.

She is starting to call us Mommy and Daddy a little more. Not that it really matters. If she keeps calling me Amy, maybe I will be able to fool people into believing I'm 25 and she's my little sis. ;-)