"It's not a hill it's a mountain [of paperwork] as you start out the climb"

This post is long overdue. Our home study has come and gone.

The day and the days leading up to the home study made me crazier than even planning my wedding. I felt overwhelmed with not knowing what to expect. I questioned everything about our house: its drafty windows, its steep stairs, and all the pieces I thought had character but suddenly seemed like a potential hazard to children.

I eyed the 3/4-finished projects around the house critically, wondering what social worker would deem us good parents when we can't finish installing a complete set of shades.

I snapped at everyone those last few days of frantic deep cleaning. Poor Mike. Poor Mom. Poor me! (Sorry to everyone on whom I might have taken out my stress.)

I was reduced to tears several times. I try to not feel sorry for myself but as I stared at those unfinished shades, I couldn't help but feel a pang of resentment toward the birth parents who didn't go through a quarter of this scrutiny. Of course, it didn't help that while this was going on I was also closing out one big project at work, which has its own stressors.

Then the day came and all the preparation paid off. The house looked lovely and felt filled with love as our family and a few close friends joined us to meet our social worker. The aroma of pulled pork roasting in onions, garlic and root beer made me feel at home and oddly at ease. I tried to get photos throughout the day, but I'm not a photographer. I didn't get good photos of everyone, and a few guests were notoriously photo shy--including Mike.

The social worker's visit wasn't anything to be afraid of. She hardly looked at the house. She seemed impressed by all the support our family was giving us. She was 10 minutes late, but, we were expecting this. We definitely passed, and I told coworkers and friends that I feel we can finally say we are expecting in the adoption state of the word.

We couldn't be happier about it:

So what's next?
1) The social worker needs until April 1st or so to write our official case study.
2) We will approve the case study.
3) Then, we'll be placed in the matchmaking database.

It could take years to be matched--there is no guarantee that we will ever be. However, we have done everything to ensure success so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.