Our lives are made in these small hours

Another Christmas has passed.  The house was decorated. So were the cookies. A usual, we all had a great time, and time seemed to go too quickly. Some years I feel I can slow time a bit by sipping on a hot cup of cocoa and reflecting on that moment while enjoying the loved ones around me.

This year I enjoyed myself, but I didn't want to pause time, and Christmas moments got lost in my mind among all the thoughts of this Thursday's event. On Thursday the 30th we meet our daughter, Rosie, and for better or worse, all the twinkling lights, thoughtful gifts, and loved ones couldn't push  Rosie mind out my mind.

Now though, my nerves are staring to run laps in my stomach. I told Mike, meeting Rosie reminds me of telling his parents we were engaged.

There are a few similarities. First, his parents were learning they were gaining a daughter and had little control over that fact. Second, I was extremely worried about how they would react, and I wanted so badly for it to go well. I wanted to be accepted immediately and without pause.

Unlike Rosie, Mike's parents had the benefit of actually knowing me. Yet all familiarity flew away in this exchange. I figured even though they might like me as a girlfriend for their son they might not like me as much as their son's wife who will be a permanent guest at holiday events. I also assumed that in that in that moment, their eyes would, at least for a moment, reflect their emotional response to the news.

Mike's Injured Packer Cookie

I was thrilled. The engagement announcement went extremely well--better than I had hoped. I didn't see a flicker of disappointment or worry in either of my in-law's eyes, and Mike's mom hugged me immediately. To this day, it is probably one of my favorite memories.

Rosie, of course, is being faced with a very different reality since she knows nothing about us or if she can trust us, and I have no idea what to expect, which is why I'm extremely nervous and excited to embed that moment into my memory. There's a Rob Thomas song that captures my feelings--and how I will end this blog entry.