Goals

Rosie came back after a week of camp and said to Mike and I, "I got homesick Thursday. That is the first time I have ever gotten homesick. Were you daughter-sick?"

Of course, we told her we were daughter sick. Well, I did as I held back a few tears. Mike told her about how he was sick with a cold first. Boys.

Anyway, the comment was adorable, and it showed us she is attaching to us. We really did miss her. The house just felt empty and wrong.

Today starts my adoption/maternity leave. Three weeks without work to better get to know my daughter. A friend asked if I had goals for the time. I kind of scoffed at the idea initially. (Sorry, friend if you're reading this...)

This is the first time I have had 3 weeks off since I was probably 15, maybe even 12 when I became a full time summer sitter. So why would I want pressure of goals around this break?

Then the break drew closer and my anxiety increased as thoughts like, "what if I am really bad at this mother thing" flooded my mind. So yesterday, despite my initial objections, I set a goal, and I told Rosie that goal: no matter how grumpy we might be at eachother, we will do one fun thing every day.

That single idea made her smile and pushed aside a bit of my anxiety so today I set another goal: I will take one picture each day to chronical this time. (Rosie wasn't as thrilled with that one so don't expect to see too many photos with Rosie.)

Then, I found myself setting a third goal since the first two helped ease my nerves. I will not spend all the down time we have this break cleaning the house. I give myself the liberty to leave laundry unhung and floors strewn with puppy fur.

That goal I kept to myself, chuckling as I thought it since just a week prior the very idea of setting goals seemed a little silly to me. So thanks, friend, for the idea and sorry for my initial rejection. The inner calm I have found as a result has helped, at least today.

And what a perfect day--but I will save that for another post with pic. For now, here's a photo of Rosie at the pool with her friend yesterday.