Pride

Today Rose returned from a 4-night stay at her former foster parents. She had an alright time there, but since she got into a small fight with a 17-year-old foster sister, Rose claimed in usually dramatic fashion she "regretted ever going." Those were her words. Of course, she had no choice in going. She had the entire last week off, and we needed a sitter as well as a small break.

Nonetheless, I asked how her visit went despite the fight. She mentioned the 17-year-old wanted to straighten her hair. I grimaced. "Did they put anything in to protect your hair?" I asked, my irritation growing. They mean well, but any time she hangs out with them, especially the teenager, she comes home more aware of her race and more self conscious about her hair.

No, she said, they tried to straighten her hair with a straightener only. Going from her beautiful, tight curls to silky smooth hair with just the scorching heat of what is essentially an iron. Yikes. Not gonna happen without significant damage to the hair we've worked so hard to heal this year. She smiled as she told me she let them know they needed to put stuff in it to protect it and that they had to first blow it out, then use the straightener on it. They tried to argue with her, she said.

This is where the story tears me up...

As they argued, she told them her hair "is special and beautiful and different than so it needs to be blown out first" and even as she retold the story I could see the pride beaming through her eyes. She truly sees her hair as special and beautiful and worth standing up for. So she made them stop straightening her hair. Thank heavens. I can only imagine the breakage that it would have caused. More than anything, though, the display of self esteem makes me feel in awe of this little girl. It's inspiring.

Why let her go there with their, um, ignorance?
She adores going up there, though. In addition, her therapists said keeping her in touch with them was good since goodbyes haven't been positive for her. So we brush our concern aside.