Loved

Today is my fourth Mother's Day. As usual, it's always a kinda hard day for me. I don't really feel like a mom. I feel like a caretaker for a very injured person who never really lets me into her world. Which becomes even more annoying when if she doesn't hate me, she clearly adores me...almost like worship of a younger sister. 

Up/down, up/down...the constancy of hatred and affection Rose constantly bestows on me is nerve wracking. (Excuse the writings style there...I'm now watching "Pride and Prejudice"..)

Plus. I digress, every year Mike sweetly tries to make it a special day despite my bit of gloominess. Even this year, after the struggles of last month, we had dinner out last night, he and Rose made breakfast this morning, and when a crushing migraine forced me to bed, he waited on me. Hand and foot.

Actually, once the puking stage of the migraine wore off, it became a nice Mother's Day because there was a "Sex and the City" marathon on the E network. I slept and listened to the crazy antics of Ms. Bradshaw, which created crazy dreams of New York. 

Finally, the Excedrin Migraine kicked in enough to let me read and now write as the family gets me a chicken strip meal...which may not be fancy but will hit the spot after a day of nothing but fluids.

Oh, and thankfully, a change in meds has made Rose a totally pleasant kid. So Mike spending nearly the entire day with her wasn't as worrisome as it would have been just one week ago. Seriously, it's like a dark cloud has lifted to reveal her personality. Sure, she's still a teen who knows everything, but now she's also not overly defiant. 

I'm not big on meds. I don't think all behavior should be diagnosed and treated medically. Children need to push and act out. I would like to see her ease off of them. However, sometimes they do really help. 

Now I am going to put this blog entry to rest so I can really enjoy the moment when Mr. Darcy kisses Elizabeth Bennett. Sigh....