After what felt like weeks upon weeks of calm we've had a few nights of defiance. Not as bad as what we had gotten used to, but it still hurt quite a bit since we have been at peace for so long. I am still more emotional than Mike in too many ways, so I don't respond well, I worry.
Tonight was no exception. Tensions increase, and I found myself saying loudly, almost yelling at her, "you're a human and you belong to be here." Then she screamed, "no I don't, I deserve to die. I don't know what I'm doing here." Then she cried. It felt sort of like a movie moment, but this isn't a movie. Tomorrow won't be perfect.
Rose letting herself share with us like this is a big step because it means she's letting herself feel vulnerable. It's a very scary step for me making me uncertain of how we'll help her out of the emotional void she is in.
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