RAD

Rose has been having a string of RAD days. RAD as in a day owned by Reactive Attachment Disorder. I try to not think of Rose in terms of her diagnoses but by the behaviors resulting from them and the experiences causing them.

RAD days lately mean increasing her sense of control as a result of feeling like she was attaching to us. Control for Rose means more arguing, more needing to be right all the time, less patience for listening. Today, I learned the defiance actually manifests itself in humorous ways when I am not at the receiving end of it.

After a day of trying to sleep off a sinus headache to no avail I found myself at Taekwondoe since Mike had taken the morning shift and needed to work later. (Yep, life has really changed, but I digress.) With pain seizing control of my right eye, I watched Rose perform her moves, but could see her trying to even control her instructors whom she usually respects.

At one point, when Rose had started to add on to something an instructor had was saying to the class he said to her, "I am the only one talking right now." Rose's eyes flashed and she proceeded to talk to herself under her breath but so slightly only I could see it. I wondered what she was saying to herself. Was she finishing her thought or telling the teacher off?

I know I shouldn't laugh, but it did strike me as a cute demonstration of her personality learning to conform to a few rules. If only she'd learn that at home.