Day six of laying on the coach is coming to an end. My surgery happened Monday, and by the time I got to the hospital I was excited and hopeful the procedure would result in an immediate end to my pain. Rose, however, wasn't as excited about it, which I alluded to in the previous post.
I tried to reassure and calm her fears all day Sunday into the night. For some reason, I was surprised Monday morning didn't go well for Rose. In fact, it went horribly. Poor Mike. I was stuck upstairs bed ridden due to the pain, and she was running so late for her bus, all she could do was holler goodbye to me from the main floor. When I realized she wasn't planning on coming up to say goodbye. I was angry. I was hurt. I was overly tired from weeks of interrupted sleep.
How could someone who claimed to have been so worried about me not want to give me a hug goodbye, I wondered. I felt sad, I was worried something would happen to me during surgery and I never would have gotten to give Rose a hug. Yet the day progressed, I came out fine, and I even made it home the same day. The hurt feeling of the morning was long gone, replaced by ease as I settled into the couch.
Tuesday was another rough morning for Rose (and also Mike), and that's when it hit me. Rose's two rough mornings were tell tale signs of anxiety caused by my surgery and the changes to our family dynamic. My realization was confirmed when by Wednesday the mornings got easier as we all fell into the new rhythm. Repetition is our friend, and we have up to five more weeks to practice.
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