Complete failure or what?

Our first bike ride together was doomed for failure for a few reasons.

First, it was 6:00 p.m. after a very fun afternoon spent at a BBQ with friends where Rosie was kept busy. Second, Rosie had her first dose of the med that should help her start to come down from her ADHD meds. Third, it was a sticky, balmy night and still sunny. Fourth, Rosie had admitted on many occasions she hates getting hot and sweaty.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I am not great at nurturing. It's something I am learning and I don't do well when tired.

Yet, when she insisted that we should go on a bike ride and further insisted it just be Mommy and Daughter time, I agreed.

I thought we could bike approximately 1 mile to the parkway, 1 mile down the parkway, turn around and return home. I should have known when she struggled with the hand brakes I should have turned us around. Yet, we pushed on, she became  more confident, and the ride was enjoyable. Until we were about a few blocks from the turnaround.

Then things went downhill, and unfortunately not literally, as we live uphill, which only compounded the situation. "Mom, I'm sweating and dehydrated, " was the first thing I'd heard.

"Mooom, I'm tired, and sweaty, and my legs hurt." Was next.

I heard variations of that the last leg home, and at first I was supportive and nurturing. "You'll get home and we can take give you ice water." "With lots and lots of ice" she demanded. "yep" I said. "And then I'll put band-aids on your knees," "with Neosporin" she said. "Yep, I just can't do any of that here honey, so we need to push onward and just get home."

Then when we had to stop every half a block, I started to have to resort to personal trainer like encouragement. "you can do it, girl." "Let's just get one block at a time." And then when the fake tears started and she refused to move, I lost all ability to nurture and "Honey, you need to toughen up, you're 10, you're healthy, and we're nearly home." I wasn't like a drill Sergent or anything, just firm.

When we made it home, I gave her my pep talk about how she needs to take on the hardest parts of life like a warrior. She rolled her eyes at me. Then I teased her about her fake crying, which was a wrong move and further proof I am not a nurturer. As a result, she's sleeping in her sweaty clothes rather than pjs without her teeth brushed to get back at me.

I did make an apology to her, I gave her some Advil for her wounds and told her I believed in her pain and was proud of her for finishing the ride, and in the end she did give me a hug and kiss good night.

However, I remain shaken by my lack of mothering instincts and tonight feel on the fence. Knowing all the precursors dooming the bike ride, why wasn't I more understanding? Especially knowing Rosie has had a strong lack of nurturing. Yet, then I feel similar to my mom. My mother is the most nurturing person I know, but she didn't baby me, and I like my resiliency.

Will Rosie see me that way? Or will she hate bike riding forever?