This is a good sign?

This morning was nothing short of chaos, and I think all of my buttons were pushed at once.


Why?

Oh boy, well, we had to change the morning routine because the one we were using that worked didn't any more. So our family psychologist suggested we try the following:

1) Let Rosie know we love her but she was completely responsible for getting herself ready in the morning.
2) She has to complete the same basic tasks: getting dressed, brushing her teeth, eating breakfast, putting on underarm deodorant and doing her hair she had to when we had the contract.
2a) We wrote out several sheets of paper saying at what time she has to ask for help for these basic tasks. If that time passes, no help.
2b) Inability to complete tasks results in loss of points.
3) She has to be getting her shoes on at 7:35 and out the door at 7:40 to catch her bus.
4) If she's on task and being respectful, she gets attention. If she isn't, she doesn't get attention.

We explained this all to her, and added one, just one rule. She can't operate the microwave or stove.

GULP

So at about 7:25 today, far too late for a warm breakfast, Rosie asked me if I could help her heat up rice. I asked her to refer to the help sheet, and asked her what she thought. "OH, no, i guess not, but I really want it, mom," she pleaded.

"well, tomorrow, we can if you ask for help in time. But for now I'd pick out another cold breakfast. We have Nutella and bagels."

"But MOM, I overslept," she whined.

"Well, honey that's in your control. Tomorrow, try not to." I went back to reading and ignoring her continued pleas and whines.

Then she marched into the kitchen and started to operate the microwave. So I walked in, stopped it, gave the immediate consequence of DS removal and unplugged the microwave. I was moderately calm.

Then I left the kitchen, to read as she mentioned turning on the stove. I ignored it until I heard the click of the ignition trying to light our gas stove top. I ran into the kitchen, and there she was with the Tupperware of rice resting on the burner (which thankfully didn't light).

I rushed over pushed her aside (not roughly) turned the burner off and removed the Tupperware. Then she reached out to reignite the burner, so I had to guide her to her room, and I will admit I was shaken and acting completely out of either instinct or anger.

When she got in her room she yelled at me, and I yelled right back--it was like I was an old school phone with handset with buttons. The kind  of phone they made which was a huge change from the rotary but when you pushed the buttons you could still hear the click, click, click of the rotary working behind it.  In this case, all my buttons were smashed down clicking simultaneously in my brain, drowning out my calm reserve.  (I don't think I really have a calm reserve....)

When I told the story to her social worker, her social worker said this was progress. If so, I'd almost like to go back to status quo.