On Friday night, I had created a CD for her with several songs I knew she'd enjoy, songs I thought she'd enjoy, and songs that conveyed my feelings for her. I gave that to her today along with a bracelet I'd given her but had to hide yesterday when she threatened to destroy it. This is key, to me. After the hard days, I have to work quickly to rebuild the trust between us.
The cool thing about Rosie is she, like me, listens to song lyrics. Sometimes I'll ponder a song lyric with people, and they give me a crazy look and say they don't listen to the words. Rosie isn't one of those. In fact, I was quite amused to see she had written out lyrics to her favorite songs by pausing her CD player after each few words--taking hours to meticulously document the verses. This amused me because I used to do the same thing until the Internet came along and websites did it for me. Once Rosie's able to use the computer she'll be thrilled.
But I digress, here's the playlist:
Song: F**kin' Perfect
Artist: Pink
Reason: Rosie loves this song and sings along so passionately with the chorus it makes me ache inside. I want her to know we think she's that perfect even on the hard days. Don't worry, I downloaded the edited version.
Song: You Are My Sunshine
Artist: Gene Autry
Reason: My mom used to sing this to me, and her mom sang it to her. The words always comforted me, and I hope they likewise comfort Rosie.
Song: Need You Now
Artist: Lady Antebellum
Reason: Rosie likes this song, and since we don't ever listen to country, I wanted to let her have a little sample. (Plus, I'll admit after hearing this song I had downloaded it for my own enjoyment. A little later in the list more of my country roots sneak in.)
Song: Ben
Artist: Michael Jackson
Reason: Rosie loves this song. I think it has a good message about people sticking with her through thick and thin.
Song: Haven't Met You Yet
Artist: Michael Buble
Reason: I listened to this before I met Rosie, and I still listen to it and smile. Even though it's supposed to be a romantic song, I think was really written for someone's child, which is less sexy so they don't promote it as such.
Song: Can't Help Falling In Love
Artist: Elvis
Reason: I want Rosie to know this is how we feel about her. I also want to start exposing her to earlier rock for my own selfish reasons.
Song: Back to December
Artist: Taylor Swift
Reason: Just like the Lady Antebellum song, this song followed Rosie from Pine City. It's part of her life's soundtrack, and now it's part of mine as I really downloaded it for me.
Song: Standing Outside the Fire
Artist: Garth Brooks
Reason: I've always been inspired by this song's message about not letting life scare you. I thought introducing Rosie to the country music I listened to would give us another thing in common.
Song: The Dance
Artist: Garth Brooks
Reason: This is another one of my favorites from high school, and I thought its sweeping melancholy would suit her based her her love of Back to December or Need You Now. Plus, I love the refrain,
"Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'da had to miss the dance."
Artist: George Harrison
Reason: Ok, I know this isn't one of George's best songs, but I already put Here Comes the Sun on a different mixed CD. Plus, this song is peppy, and I'm hoping its title reinforces that no matter how hard things get, our minds are set on her. Although, I hope she ignores this lyric, "it's gonna take money, a whole lot of spending money, it's gonna take plenty of money to do it right, child."
Song: Man In the Mirror
Artist: Michael Jackson
Reason: I think this song is a good reminder to this whole family that we all have continue growing if this is going to work.
"If you wanna make the word a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change."
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Artist: Gary Allen
Reason: Another sweeping country ballad, and as the title implies the song explores the mystery of how pain in life makes it somehow more beautiful. I think Rosie's too in the moment now and too young to understand that, but I think she'll see it some day.
"Life ain't always beautiful, sometimes it's just plain hard...but the struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.
No, life ain't always beautiful...but it's a beautiful ride."
Extraordinary
Artist: Liz Phair
Reason: The playlist was becoming a little man heavy. I was admittedly grasping at straws here. I'm a bit of a music sexist somehow and the majority of music I like is sung by men. I thought the tune was an upbeat song, but it's all about a woman telling her crush that she's extraordinary if he'd ever get to know her. Not exactly liberating. Oh well.
Dedicated to the One I Love
Artist: The Mamas & The Papas
Reason: The title of this song says it all, and I think the melody is rather lullaby-like, plus, I've heard other versions, and think The Mamas & The Papas do it the best.
I Just Got Back from Hell
Artist: Gary Allen
Reason: The title of this song might seem like overkill. It's my attempt to acknowledge her pain. I often let my feelings overshadow the world she came from: the world of neglect and abuse, being taken away from loved ones, moving into 11 homes in 3 years. No matter how much I wanted a daughter, she never asked to be taken from her dad. While we as adults know it was for the best, to her, that must feel like torture no matter how nice Mike and I are or how many toys she gets. This song is powerful, and it's country, and again dances a nice line between sorrow and recovery I hope she picks up on.
"I can't say I'm doing great, but I think I'm getting well.
Gonna let the world I'm alive and I just got back from Hell."
Firework
Artist: Katy Perry
Reason: I needed something upbeat to end the CD, and Rosie likes this song. I do, too. It's fun to run or spin to. It also has a good message about not giving up when you feel your life is out of your control.
"Do you know that there's still a chance for you, there's a spark in you.
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine."
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